TEACHER: What will happen if I cut off 1 of your ears?
BOY: My hearing will be impaired.
TEACHER: What if I cut off both your ears?
BOY: I won’t see a thing.
TEACHER: And why is that??
BOY: My glasses will fall off.

o o o

Two crazy persons talking…

CRAZY PERSON 1: Are you feeling better?
CRAZY PERSON 2: Of course!
CRAZY PERSON 1: Really? Can you walk along the beam of my flashlight?
CRAZY PERSON 2: What am I, nuts??? If you’ll turn off the flashlight, I will fall!!!

o o o

A man was cornered by a lion.  He prayed, “Lord, please make this lion a Christian”.
The lion suddenly knelt down and prayed, “Bless this food that I’m about to receive through Christ our LORD,
Amen.”

o o o

A priest lost a bird & asked during mass…

Priest: Anyone got a bird?
All men stood up.

Priest: I mean, anyone seen a bird?
All women stood up.

Priest: I meant anyone seen my bird?
All nuns stood up.