Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

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A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart..

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to
fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four
people who were equally qualified –an American, a Russian, an Australian
and a Filipino..

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer
would determine who of them would get the job. Read the rest of this entry »

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and told her, “If you don’t do the following, your husband will lose his will to live and surely die.”

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work. Read the rest of this entry »

Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride.

“Well, you see, this morning when I got up,” he said, “I was barely awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser.” Read the rest of this entry »

A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and your not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer replied. “I’m one of the best trial lawyers in the UK, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything that you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Scottish Three Kick Rule.”

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