WHY AMERICANS ARE JOBLESS

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m.

While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN PHILIPPINES).

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN VIETNAM).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), then he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. Read the rest of this entry »

It was the first day of school in Washington DC and a new student named Dagohoy, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered  fourth grade.

The teacher began, “Let’s review some American history, class. Who said ‘Give me liberty or give me death?’” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Dagohoy’s who had his hand up, “Patrick Henry, 1775.” “Very good,” said the teacher.

“Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the earth’”?

Again, no response except from Dagohoy: “Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg, 1863,” he said.

The teacher snaps at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed, Dagohoy who is new to our country knows more about our history than you do.”

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One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole – killing them both instantly.

The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he’ll get back with them on that request.

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A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, she decided to go the party.

Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.

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Three explorers were looking in the forest when they were captured by Indians. They were taken to their chief, and he said go out into the forest and come back with 10 of the same kind of fruits. The first guy comes back with ten bananas, and the chief says, shove them all up your butt without making a sound.

So the first guy gets two bananas in when he starts screaming, so the Indians kill him. The second guy comes back with ten berries, and they shove 9 in and are about to shove the 10th in when he starts laughing, and so since he made a sound the Indians killed him too.

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