Three men, a Singaporean, Japanese and a Filipino were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The singaporean pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

“That was my pager.” he said,”I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.”

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “that was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.”

The Filipino felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

The Filipino finally ! Said…….”Ay Dios mio (My God), will you look at that?! I’m getting a fax…”

“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

“That’s unfair !” he cried. “I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.”

“Shut up!” barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. “Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?”

A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, “How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?” “Just send an account for such advice” replied the lawyer.

On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.